I woke up this morning feeling different i woke up feeling like something was missing. Then i realized I’ve been missing the person that means the most to me. His name is James Edward Clay he’s my guy,lover, or whatever you want to call him. I started dating James Feb.25.2010 that was the best day of my life. I lost my virginity to him March.11.2010 and thought I was in love with him. Everything was all good and happy in the first few months of course just like in the beginning in any relationship. Then as in any relationship true colors began to show. James started lying,cheating and smoking weed, while i had just took it because I thought he was the only guy for me. I thought I was in love but then it got worse we started arguing everyday things were just falling apart. We started dating off and on cause i kept getting hurt he kept getting hurt it just all went down hill and was ruined in the end. We broke up because i decided to cheat on him to get even thinking it would teach him a lesson about how to treat me but it didn’t it just ruined us!!! I hated myself because I had ruined what mean’t a lot to me. I died inside and even though i did what I did he still wanted to be with me. That second he said he forgave me and that he wanted to be with me i knew for a fact that he really loved me I found out that i mean’t more to him than i thought I did. I’m glad we took sometime off in a way cause I feel it made us truly want each other more and come a lot closer. I feel like our relationship is stronger and a little better not quite so great but its okay for me. I know i couldn’t move and leave him his love is what i need and all i know. He’s an amazing lover and i don’t want to lose that ever. Even through our ups and downs and him being a butt-hole every now and then i still love him sooo much and want to spend my life in his arms forever. James Edward Clay is officially my world and soul mate and I hope I am his as well.